For people who are looking to get into relationships that LAST or are already in a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS or are in MARRIAGES that might need some spice that can turn the possibly blah relationship into an Ohh La la experience.... here are some questions that you might want to ask yourself:
American Magazine in 1933 reprinted an article by Emmet Crozier. The following is a questionnaire reprinted from that article. You may find it worth while to answer these questions, giving yourself ten points for each question you can answer in the affirmative.
For Boyfriends/Husband/Partners
1. Do you still "court" your girlfriend/wife/partner with an occasional gift of flowers,
with remembrances of her birthday and wedding anniversary, or with
some unexpected attention, some unlooked-for tenderness?
2. Are you careful never to criticize her before others?
3. Do you give her money to spend entirely as she chooses, above
the household expenses?
4. Do you make an effort to understand her varying feminine moods
and help her through periods of fatigue, nerves, and irritability?
5. Do you share at least half of your recreation hours with her?
6. Do you tactfully refrain from comparing her cooking or
housekeeping with that of your mother or of Bill Jones' wife, except
to her advantage?
7. Do you take a definite interest in her intellectual life, her clubs and
societies, the books she reads, her views on civic problems?
8. Can you let her dance with and receive friendly attentions from
other men without making jealous remarks?
9. Do you keep alert for opportunities to praise her and express your
admiration for her?
10. Do you thank her for the little jobs she does for you, such as
sewing on a button, darning your socks, and sending your clothes to
the cleaners?
For Girlfriends/Wives/Partners
1. Do you give your boyfriend/husband/partner complete freedom in his business/work affairs, and do you refrain from criticizing his associates, his choice of a secretary, or the hours he keeps?
2. Do you try your best to make your home interesting and attractive?
3. Do you vary the household menu so that he never quite knows what to expect when he sits down to the table?
4. Do you have an intelligent grasp of his business/work so you can discuss it with him helpfully?
5. Can you meet financial reverses bravely, cheerfully, without criticizing him for his mistakes or comparing him unfavorably with more successful men?
6. Do you make a special effort to get along amiably with his mother or other relatives?
7. Do you dress with an eye for his likes and dislikes in color and style?
8. Do you compromise little differences of opinion in the interest of harmony?
9. Do you make an effort to learn games to his likes, so you can share his leisure hours?
10. Do you keep track of the day's news, the new books, and new ideas, so you can hold your husband's intellectual interest?
Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteAlso, for both:
Always say "Please" and "Thank you".
Often say, "I could be wrong, but I think..."
"I" messages", not "you" messages. "I get annoyed when ____ happens" is different from "You annoy me when you ____"
Also another important one: DO you laugh often together? Partners that "laugh together, last together!"
ReplyDelete- I agree MaryO niceness goes a long ways I believe that every relationship should be treated respectfully, why do we start taking our intimate relationships for granted...I think thats when they tend to become blah!
ReplyDelete- In my future blogs I would love to explore more into conflict resolution and communication skills necessary to resolve conflict..but definitely you are right when one takes the blame off of others, the other person is more likely to be open and receptive.
And as for humor Katharine, I believe it is one of the essentials. You have to be able to let your guards down, feel completely non-judged and be able to be as silly as you can be together. Life can be stressful at times and if your significant other isn't witty and funny whats the point! I know of many relationships that simply thrive on the basis of humor.